


Sparks Fly

by DominicTroian



Category: Runaways (Comics), Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, F/M, established relationships - Freeform, i don't know what to put honestly, no powers, there's a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-01-30 07:17:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21424345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DominicTroian/pseuds/DominicTroian
Summary: The past leaves a lot of scars, and when your past comes flying at you, what would you do? It's just really gay and not that cheesy, but it can be.
Relationships: Chase Stein/Gertrude Yorkes, Karolina Dean/Nico Minoru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 75





	1. Welcome Home

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything for this site since I was a teenager, so let me know what you think, and if I should bother continuing this.

It is moments like these that remind the group that they aren’t prepared for everything like they care to believe. 

What had happened many years ago left a crack in their structure, one easily masked and ignored. If no one brought up Nico, no one had any reason to think of what went down. It was a simple task for most of them, but Molly had other plans. While the rest of the runaways chose to block thoughts of their goth friend from their minds, the younger girl chose to reach out and keep in touch. Eventually a bond was formed, one that no one had a say in and one that would ultimately throw a wrench into their illusions of grandeur.

* * *

Five people sit at a table in the Wilder’s home. Just a couple of moments ago they were enjoying some drinks, and reminiscing about old times until Molly dropped her bomb. The name none of them dared to say, thrown out there in the midst of laughing. Gert figures she should’ve seen this coming. After all she was the one who knew how close Molly and Nico had gotten over the past couple of years, but even she didn’t expect this.

“So you invited her?” It’s a simple question, but the feelings behind it are loaded, and everyone knows that as the words leave Karolina’s mouth. 

She feels light headed the more she thinks about it, wishing she was at home with her girlfriend, Xavin, but instead she felt like Molly just punched her in the gut. In five years, many things could happen. Things can get better and things can change, but only if you’re there to pick up the pieces, which Nico was not. 

It’s Alex who seems to hold the most anger, aggressively getting up from his seat to find something to drink. He moved on long ago, but the resentment and betrayal he had felt as a teenager came back quickly. “I don’t want to see her.”

“This is ridiculous! It is my graduation, and I want her there.” Molly has had enough. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she starts pacing around the room to relieve tension. “I know what happened.”

That’s enough to make everyone look at her. The truth is, Molly was younger than them, so when everything happened their senior year of high school, they didn’t tell her. 

“What do you know? How do you know?” Karolina is panicking. She may have always been out and proud, but if this information was just out there being spoken about then she had an image to protect, her parent’s. 

Chase stands up to walk over to Karolina in an attempt to calm her down, but she just holds up a hand to stop him. This isn’t some minor thing to get over. She didn’t just get a low grade on a test, or break a nail. This is everything she had pushed aside, buried deep down to never think about to never talk about, resurfacing all at once, and it was becoming too much to handle. 

Gert knows the signs of a panic attack, and she is quick on getting to Karolina’s side, pulling her to another room while making sure no one is stupid enough to follow them. Right now the last thing this Dean needs is an audience.

* * *

At five in the morning, an alarm starts going off. Nico groans as she rolls over to turn it off. This is something she has done everyday for four years now, but still can’t get used to. In high school Nico only got up early enough to get ready for school, definitely not to go for a jog before work. She used it as a way to clear her head since she started college, and now working for her parents, it’s something she requires.

She’s lived in Boston since she left California for school, but everyday she goes outside, she is still reminded of home. Despite having made a new life for herself, there are constant reminders of what she left behind. No longer does she have a close knit group of friends, just people who come and go without much significance. And yet, she’s happy. She’s doing great for herself until the bomb is dropped.

Molly’s text came through right as she walked back into her apartment. It was just a short and sweet text inviting her to Molly’s graduation, but the implications ran much deeper. Since she was 17, Nico had yet to return to California. Whenever her parents wanted to see her, they had to make the trip out to Boston because she wasn’t ready to face what she had left behind. The mess she helped cause, but didn’t bother sticking around to clean up. 

Of course Nico still felt guilty about how everything went down, but she wouldn’t take it back. Teenagers or not, the feelings she felt then were stronger than anything she had ever felt which is why she didn’t exactly move on. There were hookups here and there, but nothing where the tech genius let herself feel anything more than sexual attraction. 

Nico considered coming up with an excuse. Saying she has work or some charity event going on, but she had already used so many excuses with Molly causing her to miss most of the woman’s adult milestones, but she wouldn’t risk missing another one. She quickly typed out a text to Molly letting her know that she wouldn’t miss it for the world before alerting her parents that she would be coming to town.

Losing Amy broke the Minoru family. Her parents threw themselves into their work and left her to her own devices. The runaways became her family, and in the end she lost them too. Yet moving away seemed to bring her parents back to their senses. The thought of losing their last child woke something in them that had been dormant for a long time. But Amy’s name on her wrist kept her from forgetting what it cost. 

Maybe going back is Nico’s chance to fix things, or to get closure. Some say not to open old wounds, but this was still brand new to her.

* * *

There have been very few times when Karolina’s anxiety has taken over her mind and body completely. The first time was in second grade. A day that started off as any other until it came time to go home, and her parents were no where to be found. Luckily the Yorkes were friends of the Deans and took her home with them, but it didn’t stop her from panicking. Their oldest daughter, Gert, turned out to be an amazing asset to have that day, somehow knowing exactly what to say to get Karolina to start to relax, and the rest was history. Yet, this was different. After all, she’s had anxiety when it’s come to matters surrounding Nico, but this wasn’t that. It was something else entirely.  
Image was an important thing to the Dean family, but not so much Karolina. What mattered to her was not being gossiped about as if she were a tabloid waiting to happen because of her parent’s star status. What Molly knew, or claimed she knew, was something kept very far from public eye. So much in fact that only Karolina and Nico knew the exact truth, while Alex knew enough. And it was his knowledge that caused everything to go wrong in the first place, so he wasn’t a likely suspect to go spreading things around which could only mean that Nico said something, but why?

“Nico told her.” Gert’s simple statement packed a punch. Why would Nico tell Molly something that she fled the state to get away from? “None of us would tell her what happened, so she reached out to Nico, and she said she had nothing to hide.”

“Nothing to hide? Isn’t that why she left, to hide from everything instead of being honest?” If this was the world’s idea of a joke, Karolina wasn’t laughing. Secrets will ruin you, and they did ruin something so amazing to Karolina that she has never fully recovered from it. All Gert can do is shake her head.

“Molly said she’s different now since something happened to her in Boston, but she wouldn’t say what exactly. Something about it not being her story to tell, but it sounds pretty big.” Gert couldn't hide her annoyance with the fact that her own sister wouldn’t tell her what happened, but her feminist side knew it would be wrong if she did.

From that point on the girls just sat there thinking about everything going on. Gert was pretty sure she knew what happened to cause Nico to leave based on the reactions and hostility of Karolina and Alex, but the last thing she was going to do was push someone to talk about something when they weren’t ready, even if it had been years. And Karolina just couldn’t stop thinking about what seeing Nico was going to be like.

It’s like Karolina didn’t know how to feel.

In the past five years she thought she had moved on. She managed to go on dates and be happy, even if it never felt entirely right. In fact, she had a current girlfriend that she had been dating for a few months though it definitely wasn’t a perfect match. But the thought of seeing Nico again had her heart skipping beats, picking up speed the more she thought about it. The reaction not entirely based on happy feelings, but they were there, just surrounded by pain when it came to the girl who had broken her heart. It took so long for her to repair things with Alex and no one knows what her return could do to the group.

* * *

Nico didn’t waste any time booking her flight back to California. She knew if she did procrastinate chances are that she wasn’t going to end up going back, and she couldn’t stand to disappoint Molly now. It’s been two days since Molly invited her back, and now she’s about to get off the plane and meet her parents for the first time in since they visited her for Christmas.

“We’re happy to have you home.” Happy. A word, a concept, an emotion that altogether used to seem foreign to Tina Monoru, but in recent events had become something more lively.

Robert embraces her tightly before taking her bag to walk to the car. They talk about work and minor things before Tina lets it drop that Pride is having a big family dinner tonight. “I know it’s a lot, but everyone sounded excited to see you when I said you would be there tonight.”  
Everyone. Nico knew that her mother meant that the PRIDE parents were excited to see her, but couldn’t help but feel happy thinking Karolina would be happy to see her after all that she had done. She missed all of her friends, she really did, but Karolina was never just a friend to her, and that much was obvious to anyone who paid enough attention. 

“It’s okay, I’m excited to see them too. Just nervous about being back around everyone. It’s been a while.” Mostly she was nervous about two people in particular. Not ones she had hurt, but their parents. Nico Minoru was going to have to face her entire past, including Leslie Dean and Catherine Wilder. Her parents never told her how much they knew, not that they knew everything themselves, but it’s been hinted at. 

The drive home wasn’t a long one, and her parents had some business to attend to before dinner that night, so Nico decided she would take it easy before then. Climbing into her old bed, a familiar smell wafted through the room, lulling her to sleep.

* * *

There’s a couple of hours between now and dinner, so Gert, Molly and Karolina decided to gather at their regular coffee joint to mentall prepare themselves. While Molly is over the moon with excitement at getting to see Nico again in person for the first time in years, Gert is busy trying to reassure Karolina that it was going to be just fine. For clarification, Karolina did not believe her.

“There’s no reason to be nervous, Kar, Nico is just Nico.” Molly explained, her tone completely go lucky, as if there wasn’t any reason to be panicking.

That’s the thing, Nico was never just /Nico/. She was a mystery begging to be solved, a soul wanting to be seen, a person seeking to be loved, and that’s what Karolina tried to do. Nothing was right about what they did. Emotionally it was perfect, the pair was on cloud nine when they were alone together, but the timing was wrong. The situation couldn’t have been worse, and it drove a wedge between them, one large enough to send Nico to Boston.

“I guess you’re right.” Karolina muttered softly. She knew it didn’t sound believable, but it was the best she could muster up. 

Gert decided to try to lighten the mood with a funny story about something dumb Chase did, none of them noticing someone walking to the front counter.

“Can I get one espresso to go?” Nico asked groggily. Regretfully, she rose from her nap before deciding a nice cup of coffee would make her feel a lot better before dinner. Though right now she didn’t look prepared for anything but a shower. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, held together by a chopstick she found lying around on her old desk. She wore a pair of old tennis shoes and track shorts with a Gibborim studio shirt that was hanging in the front of her closet. Something about wearing that shirt just made her feel safe.

Sitting at a table nearby, Nico decides to message Molly about tonight. 

‘I’m excited to see you, Mols.’ She really means it. Molly was pretty much the only real friend Nico had anymore, and it meant a lot to her to be invited. 

She’s about to get up to check on her coffee when she hears the most beautiful laugh she’s ever heard, Karolina’s. She completely misses the fact that her name was called, too busy enraptured by the sight in front of her.

Karolina is just as gorgeous as Nico remembers. Her skin is glowing, there’s a smile so wide on her face from whatever Gert just said, that Nico instinctively smiles back until she notices they’re looking at her. The smile drops from Karolina’s face and is replaced by shock.

“Nico?” The barista calls again, clearly not having it with this wait time. It’s enough to break the spell they were under, and to send Nico flying towards the counter and out the door. Hopefully seeing Karolina at dinner will play out differently than it did just now.

* * *

Don’t look back. Don’t look back. That’s all Karolina can silently pray for as she watches Nico walk towards the door to leave. If she doesn’t care then she won’t look back, right? But she does. One hand holding her coffee and the other on the handle to leave, Nico turns around and stares right into Karolina’s eyes as she steps out. Fuck.


	2. Who Knows?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's almost time for the dinner, and someone knows more than they're letting on. What's going to happen when things come to light in front of everyone? Is anything going to be the same?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, it's been a long couple of weeks for me personally, but I'm still very much dedicated to this work, and I'm not going anywhere.

The Pride organization is a charity foundation formed by the most influential families through the Los Angeles region. They strive to create a better community and world for kids to grow up in, even after theirs are all grown. In doing so, this group of families began to become really close, eventually growing so fond of each other that monthly group dinners became the norm, especially after the children all became friends. And this tradition stuck it out, through all their loss and pain, the Pride families remained a united front, even to this day.

* * *

The time for dinner came sooner than anyone expected, and it wasn’t long before people were rushing to finish getting ready in order to make it on time. Catherine Wilder was a stickler for time, but even more so for cultivating a brilliant event, catering to all her guests in different aspects. Every attendee felt welcomed at their monthly dinners. From the pre-dinner socializing, to the variety of the meals, even to the music played at the end, there was something for everyone. And that’s the control Catherine craved. 

Catherine wasn’t just an excellent dinner host, though she prided herself on it, on the contrary, she was a mother with a thirst for blood. When Nico left, it broke Alex, and as his mother having to watch her son be in such pain, she grew to hate Nico, or at least that’s how it felt. She took the liberty of keeping tabs on the young woman, always waiting for her chance to do something about the damage that was done. Tonight she was going to do something that would make her very happy.

* * *

When Nico walked into the coffee shop earlier, Karolina felt as if her past, present, and future was standing right in front of her. Have you ever had everything you’ve ever dreamed of walk into your favorite coffee shop as if there was nothing complicated about them being there? The way Nico didn’t think to try a different place for her drink, but instead chose the one she and Karolina used to go to together almost every day. It threw the blonde off course.

Up until that point, Karolina had been doing an amazing job at preparing herself to see Nico. She had planned out every moment, from her arrival to having to stare at her somewhere across the dining room table. She practiced even breaths, polite laughing, even the horror of possibly having to directly interact with the girl, but she hadn’t prepared herself on the off chance of seeing Nico before the dinner. Now Karolina was frantically trying to regain composure at her apartment before having to go to the Wilder’s home.

She quickly opened the door to her apartment, removing her shoes as she stumbled in the door. Originally her outfit was going to be more casual, just a simple shirt and jeans combo that wasn’t too over the top, but seeing how good Nico looked, it sparked something inside of her that made her want to impress Nico. 

After all these years, Karolina was still internally fighting with herself over how to feel about Nico. She moved on, didn’t she? So why did she want to make sure she impressed Nico so badly? Karolina felt ashamed that part of her wanted something that logically she knew she could never have. Nico wasn’t some obtainable person who would fall for the blonde like so many others did easily. Nico was what kept Karolina grounded. She always managed to bring her back to reality when it felt like Karolina was too far gone.

As Karolina was getting ready, almost finished with her hair, she is interrupted by a knock at her apartment door. Letting out a stressed sigh due to her time crunch, she goes to open the door when a familiar face smiles at her from the other side.

It’s not like Karolina forgot that she had a girlfriend currently, just with everything going on surrounding the return of Nico, she had put it out of her mind, but only momentarily. So when she opens that door and Xavin is grinning from ear to ear, clearly buzzing with excitement to see her girlfriend, Karolina feels guilty. 

“I was hoping to catch you before you left for your special dinner.” Xavin was obviously hiding something, Karolina had never seen them so bubbly, and grinning so largely just to see her. “I got you a gift.” 

Again, Karolina felt guilt inside of her, slowly rising the closer Xavin inched with a box. As the brunette opened the box, Karolina knew how she was feeling was wrong. She should also be excited to see her partner, isn’t that what relationships are about? But since the start of this relationship, it felt more like settling to Karolina than happiness. As if it was already about to be over, even before it began.

Though her parents clearly aren’t the only actors in the family, as Karolina is easily able to put on a fake smile enough to fool anyone that wasn’t close to her. It hurt more realizing that Xavin perceived it as authentic. 

“It’s beautiful.” That wasn’t a lie, as Xavin removed the necklace from the box, and moved closer to put it around Karolina’s neck. From looks alone, you could tell that this was not a cheap gift, this necklace must have set Xavin back a pretty penny, but their dedication to Karolina was a nice feeling. “Thank you.”

Xavin chooses that moment to lean in for a kiss, but Karolina anticipated as much and turned to meet her cheek. It’s a small thing, yet it’s enough to earn an odd look from her significant other.

“Is everything okay?” The concern is so honorable it makes everything hit ten times harder. She’s not ready to admit what she's feeling, not to herself let alone anyone else. Knowing that, Karolina knows she has to give Xavin something, even if it’s only a partial truth.

Sitting down on her living room couch, Karolina nods her head as she runs her fingers through her hair. “I’m fine, just nervous about tonight.” Partial truths only work if you mean them, if you take how you feel, and remove the unnecessary details. 

“That’s right! Your old friend is going to be there, are you nervous because it’s been so long?”

“Something like that.” Karolina had never thought to tell Xavin about her past with Nico because it was supposed to be just that, her past. Life liked to throw wrenches in Karolina’s plans though. So now she had the choice of spilling the truth to Xavin, causing them to possibly be jealous and worry about Nico being around, or continue this little charade.

The conversation comes to a natural end with Xavin saying they have to go to while Karolina expresses her need to finish getting ready. Once she is gone, Karolina is left alone to put her final touches together while trying to not the inner turmoil that is her feelings get in the way.

* * *

Nico was many things but a planner was not one of them. She lacked the mental head space to set aside time or effort for a designated plan. Spontaneity is just something that worked out very well for her. But you can’t go to a dinner to confront your past unprepared. So from the moment she got home after getting a brief glimpse at Karolina, Nico was preparing for the worst.

Not that Karolina is the worst, far from it. Karolina has never done anything Nico didn’t somehow push her to, or sway her in some way. The worst was the people who had yet to let Nico back into their inner circle. Alex was going to be a handful tonight, and Nico wasn’t sure how she was going to deal with that. But in reality what scared her the most was the past coming up before she got the chance to decide it was time. Yes, in those 5 years she was gone, Nico managed to come to terms with many things. She took full responsibility for hurting both Alex and Karolina, for putting a crack in the runaways, and even for leaving her parents to deal with the emotional aftermath following Amy’s death. So Nico knew how to handle things, but only if she was in control, not someone else.

As she was getting ready, she heard Tina’s quiet and hesitant footsteps approach the door to her old bedroom. “Hey Nico, we’re about to leave, are you riding with us?”

Two options. Nico had to options about what to do and only one of them would possibly benefit her.

“Could you guys go ahead and go, and try to scope out the scene?”

A soft chuckle was heard from the other side the door. “I’m sure it’s going to be just fine, but yes, we’ll go ahead.” Tina began to walk away but stopped before getting too far. “Your old car is still in the garage if you want to take it.” 

Things that held sentimental value could be risky. There was the chance that whatever memories attached to that item could bring up old feelings, both positive and negative. That was just something Nico was going to have to accept moving forward. 

It wasn’t long before Nico was putting the finishing touches on her makeup, and slipping on her heels. Over the years, her style remained mostly the same, black skirt with a nice white dress shirt, topped off with a black blazer. It was more refined, professional if you will. Something to separate the girl from who she used to be to who she is now.

Nico grabbed her bag and her keys from the hook where they’ve sat for who knows how long, and made her way to the garage. Fingers grazed the hood of the car as she walked around to the driver’s side door. It was like being transported back in time.

* * *

_“So what do you think?” Nico had met Karolina at their usual spot in the park, buzzing with excitement. Her parents awarded their neglectful parenting with a car, and Karolina was the first to see it._

__

__

_“Hmm, I need to get a better look at it.” The blond says as she begins to dramatically strike poses around the car, sometimes using the car to hold herself up._

__

_Nico doesn’t hold back the laugh ting bubbling up inside of her, instead only trying to quiet it behind her hand. She pulls out her phone, snapping a couple of quick pictures before putting it away._

__

__

_“Don’t let TMZ get those.” Karolina warns with the wag of a finger. _

__

__

_“Don’t worry, I won’t. I’ll cherish them forever.”_

__

__

_Nico is soon standing toe to with Karolina, leaning against the hood of her new car. She gently caresses Karolina’s cheek, relocating a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I love you, Karrie.”_

__

__

_“I love you more.”_

* * *

Dinner wasn’t far off from beginning, and everyone had already arrived for the pre-dinner drinks except the Minorus. So while everyone was chatting and preparing for a great meal, Karolina was sulking in a separate area of the room with Gert and Chase trying to keep her calm.

“It’ll be fine, we just eat and move on with our night.” Gert tried to explain hoping that it would be enough to keep Karolina’s mood steady, but as she downed another champagne flute, it was apparent that it wouldn’t be enough. 

“Of course, maybe we’ll go out and do something this weekend to make up for this.”

“Oh yeah! There’s a protest happening downtown and we could definitely make an impact there!”

Just like that, the conversation shifted from feelings about Nico Minoru showing up tonight to face her demons, to Gert rambling on about this amazing protest, and Chase going along with whatever she said to make his partner happy. 

Karolina had just managed to grab another drink when everyone heard the sound of a car door being shut right outside the front of the house. Time froze, everyone stood still unaware of what they should do now as the front door opened. Karolina downed the rest of her champagne only to be greeted by Tina and Robert. Alone.

“Sorry for our tardiness, but at least we still made it here sooner than our daughter.” Robert playfully teased as he grabbed both him and Tina a drink. The parents laughed more freely than their children did, still on edge about this entire ordeal.

“Your daughter, is she still joining us tonight?” Catherine’s tone was dark, it alluded to something more sinister than just a curious dinner host. Tina was not a fool.

“She will, Cat, is that still alright with you?” She was challenging her host. They were friends, do not misunderstand, but going for one’s children was a mistake waiting to happen.

“Tina, I don’t know why you would even have to ask that question! Come, let’s chat while we wait for her arrival.” 

And so they did. The parents moved away and resumed their conversation on the other side of the room while the runaways reconvened on theirs. Conversations of small talk filled the silence of the room, and waited they did, but Nico hadn’t shown.

“Perhaps we should begin dinner.” Geoffrey offered, casually ushering everyone into the dining room where the table had been set. 

Their food was only beginning to be served when another car was heard outside. This time there were no other guests arriving, just the one. Everyone quieted down to hear what was happening. 

Muttered curses, loud enough to be hear by anyone near a window, as Nico checked the time to see just how late she was. It wasn't intentional, she swears, her car was giving her problems that had to be solved before she could leave. Hopefully she cleaned herself up well enough because now there was no turning back. 

Three quick knocks on the door, and it flew open. Molly had run from the table to the door, and easily lifted Nico off her feet in what had to be one of the greatest hugs anyone had ever experienced. Nico hugged her back just as fiercely, loving the support she was receiving before going in there. 

“You’re finally here.” Molly said as she set Nico back on the ground.

“I am.” She laughed as she straightened her clothes back out. It was time to face the music, a day she had worked so hard to prepare herself for, but nothing would prepare her for what was to come. 

“Well, I’m hungry and everyone else is waiting to see you, so let’s go!” Molly didn’t wait for a response before she began pulling the older girl towards the dining room, her pace fast and determined. 

When they walked into the room, Nico felt all eyes set upon her, their stares piercing her soul as she kept her head high and looked for the open seat. She only paid enough attention to see she was sat beside her mother and Chase, but failed to notice that she was being sat directly across from Karolina. 

“Thank you for finally joining us.” Catherine’s tone was short and clipped. She did not bother pretending to be nice now that Nico had finally arrived, and it was made very clear.

“I’m sorry for my tardiness.” Nico knew better than to feed into behavior like this. She wasn’t about to look weak in front of all the people from her past, not when she could easily take the hire ground, so that is what she did. 

Dinner began without any further problems, people spoke to those around them, keeping it quiet as not to disturb one another. Nico stayed quiet, just trying to listen to the conversations taking place around her. She looked up, hoping to catch the eyes of the blonde sitting across from her, but instead was met with the side of her head as she spoke with Gert beside her. But Nico used this time to take her in in a way she was unable to do at the coffee shop.

Nico observed the ways Karolina had aged subtly in the last five years, no longer a teenager, but still maintaining her youth as if she was one. Her makeup was soft and natural, only amplifying the beauty that her face naturally held. Her hair wasn’t as blonde as it once was, yet still holding in that shine that Nico had always admired. In some ways it was as if no time had passed at all. They were still teenagers fighting something that was always inevitably going to happen. 

She didn’t know how long she was staring until the blonde finally turned in her direction with a small blush emerging over her cheeks. Nico quickly looked away, taking in her surroundings, only to realize she was being watched by two very specific Wilders’. Alex looked pained, or maybe it was anger. His face was always one difficult to read, especially after being out of practice for so many years. But it was Catherine’s scathing glare that catches her off guard.

Catherine doesn’t break her stare, instead dabbing at her mouth with her napkin before clearing her throat. “So, Nico, you live in Boston now, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Hm, you left in quite a hurry a few years ago, why was that?” Catherine isn’t wasting any time making this dinner uncomfortable for anyone, it’s clear in the way Karolina and Alex both start to squirm in their seats. 

“Catherine, what are you doing?” Robert speaks up, confusion masking his face as he confronts his daughter’s interrogator.

“I’m just curious as to why she left without so much as saying goodbye to anyone, or was that the point?”

Everyone is tense now, even those people not involved. Alex is looking at his mother with such an intensity, trying to will her to stop, but she won’t do it. Karolina won’t look at anyone in the eyes, and Nico is starting to feel her temper flare, but not faster than her own mother’s who is now glaring at Catherine’s questioning.

“Mrs.Wilder, I don’t see how any of that is your business.” Nico knows when to stand up for herself, and she’s not about to let this old woman walk all over her for something that never even involved her.

Catherine laughs, but it’s void of humor. She’s a woman on a mission, and Nico is her target. 

“Perhaps you’re right. Though, I did hear your name was making headlines not too long ago, what was that for again?” She’s smirking now, the way Nico’s face tightens giving away her true emotions. 

The young woman is tense, her fingers gripping the edges of the table, and now she feels all eyes on her. Of course her parents know what happened, as does Molly, but that doesn’t mean the rest were paying attention when it happened. In fact the headlines were gone within an hour, the only thing remaining from that event being her arrest record. 

“Oh, let’s see if I remember, didn’t you get arrested for assaulting someone at a gay bar?” Tina is out of her seat before anyone can react, but it’s too late. The damage is done. And the way Catherine worded it makes Nico look guilty of some horrendous homophobic crime, but that’s the complete opposite of what happened, but Gert doesn’t know that.

So while Tina and Robert leave the room with the rest of the parents in what is sure to be an intense argument, Nico is left paralyzed in her seat, getting berated by Gert for her behavior.

“You would attack someone in a gay bar!? Are you that messed up?” She’s angry and she doesn’t know what happened, but it hurts Nico nonetheless. Molly is quick to defend her, but Karolina looks distraught at the notion, and everyone else just looks angry.

“It wasn’t like that, I swear.” Nico doesn’t have to defend herself to these people, but shes desperate for them to understand. She’s not a monster. This event is what made her who she is, not keeping secrets from anyone anymore. But she’s panicking, and it’s only making things look worse.

“That’s disgusting, Nico.” She and Alex may not be close anymore, but it stings that he would believe something like that after all that he knows. Nico can’t take it anymore, her emotions are going from one end of the spectrum to the complete opposite. Her sadness is morphing into anger, and she angrily shoves her chair back as she stands up, losing her temper finally.

“That’s not what happened!” Her breathing is ragged, her face flushed red, and her knuckles bawled together so tightly that her nails are breaking the skin of her palms. “I defended myself against someone who tried to put their hands on me when I was at a bar.” There’s no need to explain further than that, or to make the situation worse than it already is. It doesn’t matter what happened, it’s out now. Everything she did to keep it a secret, outed by Catherine Wilder at her first dinner being back. Just perfect.

“But why were you at a gay bar?” Chase asked. Nico always loved how oblivious he could be. He wasn’t dumb, not by far, but sometimes little things like this just went over his head.

“Because I’m bisexual, and I wanted to go out.” For the first time in her life, Nico didn’t hesitate before stating her sexuality. She had gone through too much to act like it was a secret now. But when she spoke those words, she never took her eyes off of Karolina, who hadn’t looked anywhere else this entire conversation. 

Nico doesn’t bother waiting around for anyone to say anything else, this night was a disaster and she just wants to go home. She’s know tomorrow will be another day, when she will have to face all of her demons, but for right now she can just go home and relax. She gives Molly a quick hug before grabbing her keys and leaving her ex-boyfriend’s house like she had done many times as a teenager, except this time was different. She no longer had any secrets, nothing could tear her down. Now she just had to wait for tomorrow to come, and maybe something good might come her way.


	3. About Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a couple of days of mostly radio silence, but what happens when a former stranger shows up at her front door? Nico is about to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while since my last update, but I hope I made this one worth the wait. I personally believe it's my best chapter yet.

Three days. Three days have come and gone since the fateful dinner that had brought Nico’s skeletons straight out of her dust ridden closet. Her social life degraded to just a couple of limited communications between Molly, mostly just the younger girl apologizing for her sister’s behavior. Once in a while her parents would check in on her, but Nico was an adult, and with adulthood came privacy, better known as loneliness and despair.

* * *

The view outside was a picture perfect sky, sun beating down on the pavement while flowers basked in it’s rays. In the past it was only dark and gloomy days that would draw Nico’s attention away from whatever task she held at hand, but being back in her hometown made her miss the weather she lacked back home. There wouldn’t be a better day to get out and enjoy this other than today, it was an opportunity Nico couldn’t afford to miss.

Ridding herself of her pajamas, the young woman adorned a pair of khaki capris, and a loose fitting white shirt to ensure it was a simple day. No sooner was she tying her hair into a messy bun, was Nico grabbing her keys off the counter and heading towards the door. Only she wasn’t about to be greeted with the sun resting on her face, but her ex-boyfriend raising his hand to knock, freezing inches away from knocking on Nico’s head. 

Stunned into silence, it’s more than a minute until either of them have the nerve to talk. Rather than say anything at all, Nico finally shuts the front door to her parent’s home behind her before walking to the sidewalk. Leaving Alex with either the option to follow her, or have come all this way for nothing. So within the next moment, he’s walking right beside her heading no where in particular. 

“Where are we going?” Alex wondered as they took another turn, heading away from the city with his hands stuffed in his pockets jingling his keys. 

“Better question, what are you doing here?”

For a long time Alex didn’t answer. Why was he exactly? Sure, he felt bad for the other night, no one deserved to be bombarded like that on their first night back in town, but after all the pain that he had suffered through at Nico’s hands, did he really owe her anything? “I wanted to apologize for dinner, everyone was out of line, and I’m sorry that my mom attacked you like that.”

Nico was already holding her hand up by the time Alex was halfway through his sentence. It didn’t matter how he felt about the other night because Nico still didn’t believe she deserved his apologies when she had yet to apologize for her wrongdoings.

“I am sorry for what I did to you.” It was the first time either of them had spoken about it out loud since it had happened all those years ago, and now they were facing their problems head on. Standing at a dead end street that blossomed into a park, the two stared at each other in momentary silence.

Alex remembered finding out he was being cheated on as clear as day. As if it had happened only yesterday. Showing up at Nico’s house to find her entangled with another. Karolina laughing as Nico nuzzled her neck before she heard the door creak open, and saw him standing there. From there it was as if their lives just shattered. One moment he was inside, the next he was driving home in his car, turning off his phone, and ignoring the doorbell hours later. He wouldn’t talk to Nico again, and wouldn’t know she had left the state until Chase said something to him weeks later. As far as he was concerned, that was it.

“Why did you do it?” The couple was still very fresh at the time. Barely together two months, never going farther than a couple of kisses when they were alone, but at the time Alex felt like it was what he wanted. But maybe he stuck on the idea of someone else. Maybe he still saw Amy every time he looked at her younger sister, and maybe he pushed his feelings on to Nico to help himself grieve the loss of his friend and crush. But Nico pulled the plug on that as quickly as it began. 

She never meant for it to happen. Being close with Karolina was what they were known for. Always being near each other. Always cuddling and taking the other’s side when something would divide the group. And when Alex asked her out, she said yes because he was a boy, and he was there. They were friends, but nothing ever pointed to the fact that they would be more than that. Yet she still said yes. And when Nico told Karolina, something changed. The blonde was more possessive and jealous. Subconsciously, Nico knew that maybe something was different, but part of her wanted the attention from Karolina. It made sense, and it felt so right.

The pair started walking again, coming to a stop at a nearby bench. Sitting side by side, Nico finally allows herself to take a deep breath. It’s about time she owns up to her mistakes, and allows herself to be open to the questions Alex might ask. Nothing could be as bad as the mental hell she has put herself through since the beginning. 

Turning to face Alex, she takes another steadying breath before responding. “There’s no excuse for what I did, and I don’t expect you to understand.” It’s a start, but Nico doesn’t know exactly what to say. One wrong word and she’s making this all about herself instead of helping Alex move past the hurt she caused. “We were together, but it still felt like we were just best friends. I didn’t feel the draw to you like I felt to her.” Her. Karolina’s name doesn’t flow off of her tongue like it once did, instead it seems to get stuck in the back of her throat, choking on words that won’t come out. 

“Why not just end it?” That’s the easy solution, isn’t it? Just end a relationship and start another, but nothing is ever that simple when you’re young. The shame of ending her first serious relationship would already put Nico on the outs with their friend group, but leaving her boyfriend for her girl best friend? Something Nico wasn’t able to admit to herself back then, let alone the people around her. 

“I could have. I should have, I know.” Nico takes down her bun, running her fingers through her messy hair as she turns away from Alex, not wanting to face him. “Back then, I couldn’t think clearly. I thought things were okay because they were hidden and locked away. I couldn’t break up with you because I wasn’t ready to tell you why. I wasn’t ready to come out of the closet to anyone yet.”

Despite not looking directly at him, she watched Alex nod his head. This wasn’t something he could directly relate to, but at least he wasn’t sitting there attacking her for what she did. “We were always friends, did you think that would change?”

Nico didn’t know what she thought back then. She was hurting everyone around her, but could only focus on her own feelings. She was leading Alex on while hurting Karolina by keeping her a secret. “Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and not known who was looking back at you? Like, it should be your own reflection, but you’re finding things out about yourself that you never knew before and now you don’t know what to believe? After Amy died, I felt like I was living a lie. Just following the program, doing what was expected of me.” Nico’s shaking. Therapy was something that took her a while to become comfortable with, but this was ten times more excruciating. “The loss of my sister, took everything out of me, and I didn’t know how to cope. You guys were all there, but it felt like Karolina was the only one who could see through my facade.” She said her name, but didn’t stop to dwell on it. “When you asked me out, I said yes. That’s what Amy would have done, and it felt like the correct thing to do.”

“But it wasn’t what you wanted to do?” Alex’s tone is softer now, somehow he’s finally getting to see the person Nico truly is, the person she was able to become only because she left.

She shakes her head no, letting out a raggedy breath as she does. “No, and I am so sorry for the pain I caused you. The only thing that felt right in that time, was being with Karolina. From the first time we kissed, it’s like something finally clicked in my brain, as if this was what I had been waiting for.”

“Didn’t it bother you that you were cheating on me?” Alex was definitely braver than he was a few years ago. Teenage Alex never would have asked her that question, but here he was not even hesitating to get it out. 

This was the biggest question he could’ve asked, and the one that Nico was most dreading. Because now she knew exactly how she felt. When Alex first caught them, it was as if her job of holding up the earth was over, and Atlas was back to take over. Or maybe that’s how Karolina felt because all Nico felt was dread. When she couldn’t catch up to Alex running out of her house, or stop the thoughts running through her head that he was going to out her to everyone, all she did was panic. But deep down, she was a little bit thankful. Maybe it was her chance to get to come out, to show off her beautiful girlfriend.

“In the end, it felt more like I was cheating on her with you.” It’s quite possibly the most fucked up thing Nico has ever said, but it’s exactly how she feels, even now. “By that point, it felt as if Karolina and I had been together our entire lives, just taking it slow, and you were just my cover that broke her heart more and more everyday.” 

Alex’s expression is somber, but underlying traces of hurt still break through to the surface. While his intentions going into the relationship weren’t clear, the pain was still unjust to him.

Nico does something unexpected and pulls Alex into an awkward hug. They were always friends before they got together, and part of her still hoped they could possible get back into that again. Just after he’s had time to heal.

Alex returns the embrace for a moment before gradually pulling away. Talking about this had clearly brought back both old and new feelings, making this a very interesting day. 

“I always loved you, but I was never in love with you. We were barely together, but the pain of being betrayed is something that shaped how my future relationships and friendships would be formed. It changed something in me, about me.” He’s pacing now as he speaks, as if the movement helps him focus on his words. “Then you were gone, and she was still here. And I think I was angrier with her for getting to be with the person she truly wanted, and I got nothing. But either way, I took out a lot of my feelings on her for being there rather than you for causing it.”

Nico flinches slighty at the way his tone becomes slightly more aggressive, but also at the thought of causing him and Karolina even more pain by leaving than just staying her to own uo to her mistakes. 

“Karolina is amazing. For so long she accepted my treatment because she felt like she deserved it, and she didn’t, and neither do you, but at the time it felt like it was right. To hurt someone you loved to get back to you.” 

By now his tone is coming back down, his movements slowing, and he is able to retake his seat next to Nico, but now her thoughts are spiraling. 

Love.

Alex knew she loved her. Seeing them together once like that, and he knew how Nico felt about Karolina and that she would never feel the same about him. She guarantees that cut through him like a knife through butter. But was it love? Could Nico have looked Karolina in the eyes then and said that she loved her? Not sober at least. Maybe after one too many drinks, and they had sneaked off to a quiet spot where no one could see them, a peach Smirnoff still fresh on Karolina’s lips as Nico stole a deep kiss. When they would both be standing there, lips only millimeters apart as they struggle to breathe. Yeah, Nico could’ve said it then, but she would’ve denied it the next day.

But how Nico really feels is the kicker. What Nico regrets most, is never telling Karolina that she was in love with her. That there was always something about the blonde that just drew her in, even when she tried to fight it. That whenever they were with friends, she just walked to disappear, just the two of them so they could be alone. Nico was in love with Karolina before she knew what love was. When they were children and Amy was the head of their group, but Karolina knew to not let Nico fall behind. The way Nico would always be ready to fight anyone who said the most insignificant thing to Karolina. They were the missing pieces to one another’s puzzles. 

It’s been years, and the person Nico still thinks about most is the one she regrets leaving behind. Despite having been with other people, including a decently length relationship with her ex girlfriend, Nico has always been drawn back home to Karolina. 

“I never meant to make you feel like that. I really wanted to tell you the truth, but I wasn’t ready to be honest. I needed you to be my beard and to protect me.” Alex finally is starting to understand why Nico ran away like she did. She had to find herself to be able to come back here and be honest with the people she hurt when she left. They’re adults now and there’s no more running from when your past.

“I moved on. After a while my anger towards Karolina lessened, and we started repairing our relationship. She is even the one who introduced me to my girlfriend. I owe her a lot.”

They moved on from heavier topics, slowly opening up to one another like they were kids again. Reliving old memories and inside jokes as the sun began to fully rise above them. It was almost time to go their separate ways for the day, the morning shifting into afternoon before it slowly starts to droop further into the night. But there were a couple of things Nico needed to know that she was truly hoping wouldn’t make Alex uncomfortable right now.

“Can I ask you something? You don’t have to get into anything if you don’t want to.” She offered him the out, if it gets to be too much all he has to do is say so and she will drop it. Alex has a feeling who knows what is about to be asked of him, but he had honestly expected it come sooner so he just nods his consent. “What’s she like now?”

It was such a broad question, with a million different answers, but they were friends long enough for Alex to know what exactly she’s asking. Yet how can he begin to describe the kind of amazing person Karolina has become. She takes to dating with a very guarded stance, afraid to let anyone in because of how she had been hurt herself. She stands by her friends, not daring to let anyone or anything come between them. After she came out when they were all eighteen, she made them all go to a pride festival, finally expressing happiness for the first time since Nico had left. All in all Karolina was the kind of person you wanted to have on your side, the person you wanted to be in love with you at the end of the day. And very obviously, the person Nico still wanted to be loved by. Alex still didn’t know what exactly to say to Nico, but he had to be honest with her at the very least.

“She’s so incredibly strong. She doesn’t let anyone get away with taking advantage of her, even if it means losing them in her life.” He watches as Nico’s eyes glow brighter with pride as he speaks. “And she loves even harder than that. With her partner, Xavin, she would do anything to make them happy.” He’s watched how Karolina acts with Xavin when they’re all together. You can tell she really cares about them, even though it doesn’t always seem as if they’re in love.

Nico winces at the notion of Karolina being with someone, but she’s not allowed to be upset or jealous. Even she had been with other people during they’re time apart, and it’s her fault in the first place that their relationship didn’t get to run it’s natural course. Nico knows all of that, and yet she still wishes it were her who got to be with the blonde now that they are both adults, but she made a mistake once she’s not willing to make again, even if she’s on the other side of this now. 

“I’m happy she’s happy.” It’s the best Nico can manage right now, but Alex understands that. “And I’m happy you’re happy too, you deserve it, Alex.”

He smiles at her as he stands up, offering his hand to help her get up from the bench. She takes it, and suddenly they’re walking out of the park and back towards her parent’s home. “I was thinking of going to a bar tonight with Chase, do you want to come?” 

Chase is a lot better to be confronted with than Gert or Karolina right now, plus this seems like Alex is trying to repair what they once had, so she takes it. “Yeah, text me the details and I’ll be there.”

**Author's Note:**

> go ahead and give this kudos if you think it's worth me exploring more. don't forget to subscribe!


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